It is said that when a person first experiences awakening, they go through a bit of a rebellious phase, where they see the world and everyone in it as being at cross purposes with the new world that they see. I certainly went through that phase, and I was well into the throws of it when I took the name “Infidel.” Like Cheryl Strayed, (author of Wild) who, upon her divorce, and finding she could choose a new name, chose “Strayed.” For she had done just that. And like Cheryl, I didn’t choose “Infidel” as a label to be proud of, but rather like a war medal. I was unfaithful, to my husband, to my religion, to friends, family, my children…myself. And while I’m not proud of that, I am proud of what it taught me, what I chose to learn from the experience. Karma is more than the consequences of our actions. It’s the reaction of the Universe to the patterns we choose to repeat over and over again. My patterns were multitudinous, and, in the end, I had to face them. I had to take responsibility for them, own the consequences, seek forgiveness, and, ultimately (and the hardest part of all) forgive myself. What is the purpose of Karma, after all, if we do not face it and learn the lessons it has taught us? And how exquisite when we do!
In my infidelities, as a result of them and their consequences, and in my heartfelt desire to repent and find peace, I learned much about myself, lessons I could not have learned otherwise, and for which I’m immensely grateful, for they are the key to understanding who I have become. I learned what I need from myself and from others. I learned the secrets of who I thought I was in contrast to who I am. I learned to trust myself, to listen to my intuition, that voice of knowing that is deep down inside all of us if we can only tune the world, and our egos, out. Because the world we perceive is really only a reflection of our egos, of the fears and resentments and distrust we feel about who we are, and which we therefore project onto everyone and everything we see. The truth, the truth that ennobles and guides and teaches, the truth that shows us our individual purposes, that shows us the way, will ever and always lie within us.
And, having found that truth, I have chosen to live it unapologetically. So now I am embarking on a period of intense study and education. I want to share what I have learned. I want to assist in the awakening of others. I want to uplift my little corner of the world. Maybe that is Danville, VA. Maybe it’s some little town in the PNW that no one’s ever heard of. And maybe it’s wherever you are, reading this on your laptops or your iPhones. Change is possible. And when the little changes within us begin to add up, the sum total is peace, prosperity, bliss, hope, happiness, not for just you and me, but for all of those around us, because enlightenment is contagious. It spreads. It ennobles and improves. And while it’s scary to see the world from a totally new perspective, it’s also really exciting!
So I hope you’ll join me as I seek ways to improve my life, to uplift those within my sphere of influence, and, ultimately, or so I hope, raise the level of consciousness to the point where we see crime rates drop and love for our fellow men ignite.
Let’s light it up!